Friday, September 10, 2010

The Stepford Wife...

So, most of you fine people, if you have spent any time with the Hannigan clan, have realized that we are odd. Not saves an ungodly amount of empty paper towel tubes odd, or living with the conviction that superman is indeed more than a comic book, but is one telephone booth away from a timely rescue, odd. We are our own brand of crazy. Which is ironic if you know my heart.And even more ironic if you know my wounds.
Insert picture of me with sexy heels on. And white teeth. Really white. And I'm dressed in an outfit that says "it looks like i stood in front of a mirror and spent the last half an hour creating this look, when in essence, I am just this suave". And i am holding a beautiful roast and exchanging witty banter with my well groomed and meterosexual husband while our GAP add children and laughing adorably (and just loud enough that we can hear them over our hilarity). Yup. This is what I wanted. My husband was going to be a good looking youth pastor. I was going to be the perfect christian wife. Our family would be the family that everyone else looked at and wanted to be. BAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. I had a moment. Maybe it's because my husband has longer hair than me. Or because our witty banter is quoted from cult classics that are lost on the world. Or because the only GAP clothes that my daughter owns came from consignment stores.
But, I would not change a thing. Not one single solitary thing. Which comes my inevitable point in my inevitable rambling. My God is a God of the unconventional. He never desired to put us into boxes. Make us "normal". To tame us. These are human standards. Not that there is anything wrong with being a good looking youth pastor. Or having adorable children. Or eating pot roast. But these weren't things calling to the core of who God created my heart to be. I wanted the status. I wanted the image. But you can't serve God and image. Enter my husband. :) He seriously is the best thing ever. Just saying. I only in recent years persuaded him to part with his socks with sandals wearing habit, and matching a wardrobe based on camo and tie die. Together. He is adorable. The most gorgeous thing ever. Just noncommittal to anything involving convention. He is this guy who dwelled outside of the box. And I chalked that up to ungodliness. How that must have broken the heart of God. Really, just broken it. Here He made this handiwork...this creative beautiful free spirit, and i labeled it as heathenism. Sad what we expect out of God. But he has taught me how to see God with my heart. And it looks nothing like I thought it would. God is odd. In every way. He is quirky. He loves deeply. He is not impressed with image. At all. Money means nothing to Him, except as an act of love. He doesn't shirk away from the uncomfortable, He doesn't leave the questions impersonal so as to not get too close. He doesn't judge based on what people are wearing or how they speak. The thing about God is that He loves. The real kind. Mike and I are celebrating our anniversary this week. I am grateful for all the things Mike has shown me. How to help heal broken hearts. How to raise our daughter. How to chose battles to fight. How to love like God would.
Now, if you will excuse me, i have a pot roast to thaw.

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